How To Heal A Cervix

When you undergo a LLETZ procedure, essentially they remove a scoop of your cervix. And not just a little scoop. I'm talking 1.5-2cm of tissue. As my delicate cousin described, a quenelle of cervix. And they can't just slap a bandaid on it. So, they burn it to stop the bleeding. That's a fair whack of trauma to a pretty sensitive part of the body. Healing the cervix is an approximately six week long process, so three weeks in, I thought I'd break the experience so far down for you.

Step 1: Avoid all large bodies of water. No baths, no oceans, no swimming pools.

Step 2: Be grateful it's winter.

Step 3: Ignore the fact that your sex drive has somehow increased during all of this crap and refrain from anything sex related.

Step 4: Forget everything you know about feminism and girl power. Don't lift anything heavy. Not the groceries. Not the washing basket. In fact, notice as even a full kettle feels heavy.

Step 5: Pretend you are a fourteen year old girl again and go back to wearing sanitary pads during all hours of the day and night. No tampons or menstrual cups allowed.

Step 6: Forget about that scheduled brazilian wax and embrace the au naturel look. Don't put anything near your vagina that might risk infection.

Step 7: Get used to washing shit loads of towels as you smash through one a day, again, paranoid about infection.

Step 8: Try to hold your cervix in every time you poop. Drink more coffee than you've ever drank before in the hopes of avoiding constipation and damaging your poor little cervix with any 'pushing'.

If that's enough detail for you. Stop right here. If however you'd like a little more insight into the biology of cervix healing, keep reading. But don't say I didn't warn you.

Days 1-5: Begin to come to terms with the pink, watery discharge leaking out of you. Try your best not to flinch when it makes you feel like you're weeing your pants as you walk through the carpark at Woolworths. Reassure yourself that your trusty sanitary pad will stop you leaving a trail of drip-marks on the concrete as you shuffle around.

Days 6-16: Notice as the stuff leaking out of you changes to more of a light-period consistency and colour.

Days 8-10: Find what can only be described as pepper-granules have joined the mix of things coming out of you. Do some reading and find that they are most likely charcoaled parts of what remains of your cervix. Try your best not to picture your charred cervix.

Day 17: Try not to panic as your bleeding becomes bright red, fresh and heavier. As long as you're not filling a pad an hour, apparently you're ok. Try to get some sleep...good luck with that.

Day 18: Find a pretty substantial black thing has slid out of you. Poke it and realise it's not a blood clot but rather a black, rubbery piece of tissue that can only be described as liver-like. Next, hope to God it's not liver. See picture below to be the liver-judge for yourself.

Day 19: Seek relief in the fact that you're back to having, what has become a normal, pink/brown stuff leak out of you all day and night. Remember 'normal' is a relative term.

Day 20: Shake your head at how much attention you are now paying to your bits and what comes out of them. Be fascinated and amazed that your body is healing itself, literally from the inside, and that you are on the road to recovering from when someone chopped away part of your cervix. Later on the same day, take a trip to the emergency department with excessive bleeding and blood clots then repeat from Step 1.

When I was going through all of this, I did a lot of reading about other women and how they healed from their LLETZ. The photos they included did a lot to put my mind at ease and for that reason, I've decided to include this pretty graphic image.