A Failed Embryo Transfer

We had waited a long time for this. An embryo transfer before chemotherapy. Another one this past month. Heck, we did chemotherapy instead of a hysterectomy so we could give this baby making thing a shot. And here we were.

I kissed Chris goodbye in what is now a very familiar pre-anaesthetic routine. I signed things, sat in a waiting room and was then led through to a room I've been in many times before. Gown, paper undies, booties and a hair cap were donned before I sat in yet another waiting room. I was visited by a nurse, the anaesthetist's assistant, the anaesthetist himself then my fertility doc. They all asked the same questions for the most part...did I know what I was there for? (yes) Had I had a general anaesthetic before? (too many) When did I last eat? (5am). One did diverge from the usual questioning through. She asked how old my embryos were. When I said they were only 6 months old, she nodded and went on to tell me about a woman who had trouble conceiving so she used 20 year old embryos that belonged to her mother to get pregnant. It certainly took my mind off things for a moment.

Before long I was climbing up onto the steel table. I tried to do a head-count of the people in the room, wondering whether, if the transfer was successful, I'd be able to make jokes about how there were 7 or 8 people present when I conceived. They injected the first drug and made some joke about it being a few champagnes and to be honest they were spot on. I was light headed, my eyes were blurry and I felt at ease.

About 15 minutes later I woke up in recovery with an embryo having been inserted into my uterus.

That afternoon I went for acupuncture and as I lay on the table I dozed in a post-anaesthetic haze. My thoughts and dreams were filled with dread, worry, and nerves. May the ten day wait begin.

Update: The ten day wait came and went. The transfer didn't work. Not much more can be said. The number of frozen embryos we had was dwindling and it was heartbreaking to have this potential baby slip away.